Tuesday 27 March 2012

Life, Love, Hair and Hats

Heya, first let me apologise for not updating for a while- I've been extremely busy and all over the place physically and emotionally.

Hats:
I meant to upload these pictures over a week ago, because I want opinions.
I love top hats:
But I also resently brought this hat; its basically a slightly modern style bowler hat, from H&M. What do you guys think? Does it suit me? Please ignore how odd my feet look in this picture.

Some happy news:

I've cut my hair. I'm donating it to Little Princess Trust to make wigs for children with cancer.

Before:

After:
Please excuse the lack of makeup- I was worried that having 22cm of my hair cut off might cause me to weep...
So my hair is now shorter than it's been since I was 3 and I've dyed it dark auburn (pictures to follow when I get the dye off my neck...)

The Bad news:

I don't want to dwell on my personal shit, because that's not what this blog should be about, but I thought I should mention it anyway.

My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me yesterday. It's a bit of a shock because we've been so happy, but just lately he's not been himself. A friend thinks he may be suffering from clinical depression. Whatever the cause, he doesn't want to spend time with people any more, and thinks it's unfair on me to have to wait around for him to be sociable again. He won't get help, he's content to live in his room and be a hermit outside of work. He's convinced that's the real him and he has to force himself to be sociable at all. I love him, he loves me. I always thought that would be enough, but it doesn't seem to be for him anymore. I can't help but feel it's my fault, that I've done something wrong (again; this isn't the first relationship I've had that disintegrated after 2 years due to mental health issues; maybe I send men insane? At least the last one let me help him through stuff for 18 months, this time my help is not wanted AT ALL)

I'm just mentioning this in case the heart-break, crying, feeling numb etc get it the way of me posting, or all my posts are mopey for the forseeable future.

At least it's sunny today, and I'm spending the evening with good friends.

7 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you had such a shock about a break up, very sad to hear you're upset. Trust me, it's not you, even though you feel that way, it's NOT you. Depression is a very personal thing, but it also can be a selfish thing (harsh to say, but true). I learned a long time ago that you can't be someone's savior, only can be supportive and if he doesn't want help, then that's his decision. You have to worry about you and keep pushing forward, with time you'll feel better in the long run.

    The hats really suit you! :) I also think it's amazing you donated your hair!!! You look fabulous with shoulder length hair.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sorry that you've broken up with your boyfriend but Megan is right, depression is a very personal thing and you can't save someone no matter how much you love them. If they don't want help, that situation really isn't your fault. I'm sure you don't drive men crazy. The sad fact is that young men are prone to depression and mental health issues and maybe he has to get to a place where he wants to seek help for himself before he can change that. You can't try and take on that responsibility as that's something he needs to do. I'm sure knowing that won't make it hurt any less but it will help you move on and not feel so guilty about it.
    I thought it was lovely that you donated your hair and I'm sure you'll have fun with your new shorter look.
    The hats both looked good on you but I think I preferred the top hat...I love top hats even though they don't suit me.
    I look forward to seeing pictures of your new colour too :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks to you both. I'm sure in time I'll come to see that you're right, it's just tough at the moment.

    I'll take a picture of my hair tomorrow because I finally got my neck back to normal!

    ReplyDelete
  4. First I LOVE your top hat. Looks awesome. Second, I can't wait to see your hair with the new color. That is a lot of length you took off! That's great it went to a great cause.

    I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. I hope that things work out for you, whatever way things go.

    Not sure if you know but I have a facebook group called Ladies in Black: http://www.facebook.com/groups/248527528567367/

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup. Try not to feel guilty about it though, for this is clearly not your fault but simply a sad situation caused by the problems your ex boyfriend has. I hope missing you might change his mind about getting help.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sorry to hear about the break-up. My ex and I split for... reasonably similar reasons. Stuff like that hurts, and hurts deep.

    You do look GORGEOUS in the top-hat, though. It really is the cherry on the cake with that outfit. Best hat.

    ReplyDelete